Don't Have a Heat Stroke in Roland Park

I learned a hard lesson today... Don't have a heat stroke in Roland Park. For those of you who may not know, Roland Park is a snooty, upper crusty neighborhood in Baltimore. It's an old neighborhood with huge mansions from the 19th century, a locally owned super market that charges a dollar more for everything that you can get at Giant, and of course, a Starbucks.

Anyway... Earlier today I decided to stick to my exercise regime and do an hour of power walking in 95 degree weather. Afterward I drank a lot of water and got into my car that currently has no air conditioning due to some ruptured hoses. I'm almost home when my vision starts to go. I feel like I've just swallowed a fist full of quaaludes (I'm guessing at this one since I've never even had one quaalude nor do I know exactly what they are. I just remember hearing about them in the '70s), I start hyperventilating and going numb and tingly all over. I think I'm having a heat stroke, I say to myself. So I pulled my 1998 Saab 900 SE off of 83 on to Coldspring Lane headed east and made an emergency stop at the corner of Coldspring and Roland Avenue. I get out of the car and collapse on the sidewalk shaking and crying and still hyperventilating.

I manage to call my boyfriend who is debating about whether to call 911 or come and get me, when I spot a good Samaritan - or so I thought. He sees me lying on the ground, makes a step toward me, THEN TURNS AROUND AND WALKS AWAY. He didn't run so as to give me the impression he might be going for help. He never asked if I was OK. NOTHING. Just walked away. Even through my mini trauma, I was shocked. I mean, come on! I'm in Roland Park.

Then I start to think evil thoughts. Mr. Not So Good Samaritan was white. I'm black (yes, black folk can suffer from heat exhaustion) and I wondered, if I were white, would he have walked away? I'm not one to throw out the race card willy nilly, but this really bothered me. Was it just unwillingness to help a stranger or was there more to it? Even in today's society this question is often in the back of the minds of many people of color.

Thoughts?

Mouthing Off and the Art of Self-Restraint

Noted author and my personal mentor, P.M. Forni says that restraint is our inner designated driver. Restraint allows us to make sound decisions. In the following video, you'll see how a young woman may have wished she'd learned the value of self-restraint.

I'm curious to know what you think of this event. So instead of my usual essay about my perspective, I'd like to hear from you.

Open Letter to Uncivil Celebrities

Dear Kanye, Serena, Joe Wilson and other celebrities, luminaries and people of note:

You have everything... except a little class. My mother often told me that money cannot buy class. You either have it or you don't. I, however, believe class is something you actually can learn and I offer my professional services to you. For a fee commensurate with your exorbitant salaries, I will spend a day or two or three with you teaching you the fundamentals of class and civility. We'll go over the basics like knowing when to keep your mouth shut as it may cost you the game and the respect of your fans. We'll also look at how to be gracious when you lose so that you don't look like a loser even when the award was not about you. We'll go over concepts like humility, mutual respect, self-respect, and how our behavior reflects not only on ourselves but those with whom we associate. We'll also look at the consequences of boorish behavior and how it can be a real buzz kill to our professional and social calendars.

I extend this offer in complete seriousness. I have a master's degree and background in communications with further experience in international relations. I have attended parties where guests have included Prince Andrew, Prince Felipe of Spain, celebrities and notable people in government. My mentor is P.M. Forni, author of Choosing Civility which has been featured on Oprah. I have taught civility to teens and am currently developing a program for Baltimore City.

So give me a call at 443-756-3154 to arrange for me to come to you so you can avoid making another social faux pas.

Sincerely,
Gay Pinder

America! Where are your manners?

Today I watched a story on NBC Nightly News and was dumbfounded to see news reporters being reprimanded by Robert Gibbs, President Obama’s Press Secretary, for having their cells phones ringing during a briefing. Last week, NBC reporter David Gregory announced on Twitter that he would be Tweeting during the Correspondents’ Dinner. I Tweeted back that I thought that was beyond rude. Was that rude of me?

I tell you… I’ve had it. As my mom used to say when we were little, “I’ve had it up to my eye-teeth.” I’m not sure I know what eye-teeth are, but I knew my mom was a hair’s breath from snapping when she uttered that phrase. From surly customer service in retail stores to the unbelievably bad service extended by city and state workers who earn their pay checks from my tax dollars, manners and civility in this country have gone the way of white cotton gloves and the pillbox hat.

And while fashions are trending retro, I think it’s time manners made a come back, too. I want the elderly to be able to ride a city bus and not have to hear teenagers spout off-color epithets. I don't want to see one more senior stand up while young men sit and dare them to ask them to give up their seat. I want parents shopping in malls with their little children to know that it will be a G rated experience. Not one filled with folks slinging the “N” word around. I want to go into my neighborhood Staples store (yes, I’m calling you out, Staples) and not have the cashiers eating their lunch at the check-out stand.

So starting now I’m on a crusade to bring civility, decorum and considerate behavior back in fashion. Civility is the new Black!