Dear Kanye, Serena, Joe Wilson and other celebrities, luminaries and people of note:
You have everything... except a little class. My mother often told me that money cannot buy class. You either have it or you don't. I, however, believe class is something you actually can learn and I offer my professional services to you. For a fee commensurate with your exorbitant salaries, I will spend a day or two or three with you teaching you the fundamentals of class and civility. We'll go over the basics like knowing when to keep your mouth shut as it may cost you the game and the respect of your fans. We'll also look at how to be gracious when you lose so that you don't look like a loser even when the award was not about you. We'll go over concepts like humility, mutual respect, self-respect, and how our behavior reflects not only on ourselves but those with whom we associate. We'll also look at the consequences of boorish behavior and how it can be a real buzz kill to our professional and social calendars.
I extend this offer in complete seriousness. I have a master's degree and background in communications with further experience in international relations. I have attended parties where guests have included Prince Andrew, Prince Felipe of Spain, celebrities and notable people in government. My mentor is P.M. Forni, author of Choosing Civility which has been featured on Oprah. I have taught civility to teens and am currently developing a program for Baltimore City.
So give me a call at 443-756-3154 to arrange for me to come to you so you can avoid making another social faux pas.
Sincerely,
Gay Pinder
